Wednesday, January 8, 2014

"IVANHOE" in Toronto

Matthew Thurber
Weird Things
998 Bathhurst Street, Toronto, ON
Opening Jan. 16, 2014

Where is my horse? SQUIRE!?!? Where is my steed? The trusty dappled grey who carries me to my destiny... Where is "Amtrak" who proceeds unswervingly and never crashes?... My Squire is gone! Left in the night for France leaving only this note. "I don't want to be your intern no more. Up yours." Well then Touch! Thou Cheese-head! Vengeance shall be mine...As soon as I find my horse. Excuse me Brother uh Brother Monk. Ha ha do you know you are reading that book upside down..? Ah of course I forgot 'tis the new custom of this country. It has been many years. Do you know the way to the castle of Basel sire where the tournament shall be fought this afternoon? Ah that tent yonder with the fluttering flags...yes I recognize the banners now of Lawrence Gagosienne that Norman churl...of Jeff DeKoon his influence at court has only grown...of Shite LeBoeuf yes Frenchies all. How they have corrupted this land forcing their language upon its people depriving them of all hope disinheiriting them of their property employing them to fabricate their wretched tapestries...Where have I been? Many years in the Holy Land sir. I saw it when I closed my eyes the Grail just out of reach. I came so near. Upon my return to find an Ogre had devoured my family...'Od's Blood! But today in the lists I will take it all back!... If I can just find my horse.

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